Too Much Excitement

Apparently, it's just too exciting at our house these days!

Broken

My camera broke.  The camera that I bought just 4 months ago.  The camera I bought to replace the other one that broke right before we went to China.  Sigh... that is part of why I have been so silent the last few weeks.  That and I'm still working on what God is walking me through right now.  In a way, I feel broken too.  He is breaking me down to build me up to be a better me; He is breaking me down to build me up to be a person that more reflects Jesus.  Of course, I will never, ever perfectly reflect Him, but I can most certainly be better at it. : )  These valleys, oh, they are so very uncomfortable and kind of lonely.  I have God, of course, but it is so difficult for me to express myself to others and have them truly understand what I am going through.   I don't know how long it will last, but I do know that there will be an end to this valley and my walk with the Lord will be even stronger because of it.  That is worth it to me!

Taking walks out in the meadow preserve by our house with my little crew makes me happy, so we try to do that every day.  I brought along my phone and caught these cute pics of Isabel.

On Tuesday, Isabel and I headed down to Children's Hospital.  We met with a orthopedic hand surgeon that specializes in radial club hands.  I was able to have most of my questions answered and we have a plan for Isabel.  She will have centralization surgery in April on both her hands.  She will be in casts for 6 weeks.  After that, she will have surgery to remove her pointer fingers, rotate them and place them where her thumbs should be.  So, she will have 3 fingers and a thumb. : )  I'll miss her one little (non-functioning) thumb, but I'm sure she will be glad to have better use of her hands.

She wasn't all that happy in the waiting room.

And finally, this picture just makes me smile.  Even though she may not look all that happy, she is reaching for me and calling me "mama" in this picture.  Precious!

Pouring Out

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm living a lifetime in one day.  We have added only one child, but it feels like I've doubled my load.  We have added private school for Will that is in another town and requires being on the road almost 3 hours per day.  When he comes home, he has about 2 hours of homework in the evenings. That's a lot for this homeschooling mama.  The girls' Irish Dancing schedule has changed, so that they are no longer in the same class... more driving for moi!  Car trouble with the new-to-us van... grrrr!  Thoughts about what to do with that dossier sitting in China... adopt now or extend our USCIS approval.  Deep, heart-felt discussions with hubby.  All this to and fro... all this emotional energy... I've been pouring out and not a lot is going back in.  It's been a hard couple of weeks.

I've also never been a fan of this time of year.  Even as a kid, I disliked January - March.  I don't know if it is the post-holiday blues or what, but I'm weary.

We've been taking lots of walks in the meadow preserve by our house, knowing that the fresh air will do us all good.

Taking our dolls with us, of course!

Please excuse the thumb, no time to edit!

I've been doing B90X with Connie. (Shhh, don't tell her, but I'm a little behind... still in Deuteronomy!)  I've thought about going back to work part time.  I've thought about starting an adoption ministry at our church.  I've thought about a lot of things, but none of it is the answer.

Two things I know for sure. #1... I have not spent enough time with my husband.  We miss each other even when we're in the same room; that's because there are 6 little people in the room with us!  : )We love them to pieces, they are our purpose, but we are NEVER alone. We are hoping to take some one-nighters by the shore.  I'm hoping that our dear friend will stay with the kids for us. We also need more date nights.  We've been hesitant to leave Isabel with a babysitter since she is so attached to me and has only been home a few weeks. But I think a few hours would be ok.  And #2... I have not spent enough time with the Lord. Yes, I am (not so) diligently reading the Bible in 90 days, but studying His words is so different than "being" with Him.  Quite time is sorely overdue.  I don't need much and I don't need it often, but when I do, I DO!  I haven't quite figured that one out yet.

So, this week has been better then last week.  This week has been full of giving and receiving grace, good conversations and supportive emails from dear friends and God speaking to my heart to just "be" in this moment; to not make it go away.  I do feel that once I get through this valley, I will be stronger, my relationships will be stronger and my resolve to do all that God has called me to will be stronger.

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Galatians 6:9

Rub-a-dub-dub

Four kids in a tub...

I honestly don't think we could fit anymore kids in if we tried! :) And we lost quite a lot of water on the floor!

But they had so much fun!

First Day of School

Today was Will's first day of school. Let me explain, we are a homeschooling family, but we also realize that every child is different and there are different seasons in life when changes need to be made. We schooled through summer knowing that we would take a long break when we were in Ch*na. Mid-December, after taking about 6 weeks off and home only 2 weeks with Isabel, I decided to homeschool my 3 students with a preschooler and 2 toddlers. It did not go well. After a few days, Jim and I came to terms with what we knew already for months, I could not give Will the time and attention he needed for school.

Although a hard decision, we also had peace.  Will is attending a very wonderful Christian school.  In fact, it has the word "missionary" in the title of the school. Love it! Academically challenging with Christ at the center.  He had a wonderful first day.  He really seems to enjoy it and is even taking the 2 hours of homework tonight in stride (although I'm not that fond of it!).

We missed him today, but I do believe for this season that he is right where he should be. I love you, my son!  May God continue to guide your steps!

Days Like These

We've had sick days...

Notice he still wants to eat with a 103.9 fever! Crazy!

Isabel nursing Nate! Cute!

We've had crazy hair days...

Love the pigtails!

This is what she looks like when you take them out!

We had posing for Grandma days...

Most of all, we have had days of just being together... loving each other, helping each other, working out a new schedule as a family of 8.  It's hard.  It's hectic.  Its' overwhelming, but it's a good life that feels so right for us all!

Our Little Girl

This girl has put on 2 1/2 lbs in 4 weeks.  Her skin is clearer and eyes are brighter.  She is no longer grinding her teeth when she is upset (a coping technique that she's been doing for a while, by the look of her teeth!).  She's more comfortable around strangers and letting me leave the room (as long as her older brothers and sisters are around).

She has the sweetest face!  It takes me twice as long to run errands now because so many people want to talk to me about her.  First, they notice how adorable she is, of course!! Then, they'll ask me if she is adopted.  We'll talk about the process, Isabel, the incredible need... I've even given out my agency's website to those who seemed particularly interested.  This girl stops shoppers everywhere I go!!

On this particular day I tried getting the 2 littles together in just their diapers, to show the size difference.  They are only 6 weeks apart.  Nate is older.  He is also a big guy for his age, as I've mentioned before! : )

First, I started with just Isabel...

Then I added Nate...

She's a little suspicious of him because he tends to knock her over when he bear-hugs her!

She looked away and that was an invitation for Nate...

All he did was touch her!

And she did NOT like it!

But then he went away and she was all better...

Oh, how we love this girl!