Sunday, March 20, 2011
Patience is not a virtue that I easily demonstrate. If something needs to get done, I do it. If a problem needs to be solved, I fix it. I rarely wait around for an issue to resolve itself. I suppose that could be considered the better side of having a lack of patience. However, the lack of patience that I am particularly concerned with and striving to improve is waiting on the Lord; because there are some things that I cannot fix, complete or resolve. There are things I desperately want to work on right now that I can't. I can't resume our adoption paperwork. I can't start our adoption fundraising. I can't go on the mission trip I want to that leaves in 2 weeks. I can't push my husband to finish the home improvement projects. :) I can't speed up this pregnancy. I can't and I need to be reminded constantly that the Lord is working all this out in His timing to His glory. In the end, I know without a doubt that I will be grateful for this patience that I am learning and I will be especially grateful for the Lord's plan that is so much better than mine. He will lead us to our children when the time is right. He will lead our family on the right mission trip and it will all be apparent in hindsight. For now, though, I sit in my home in rainy Southern California praying for peace in my heart. God has me in this place at this time for a reason. My concentration needs to be to complete our homeschooling year, love and nurture the children God has blessed us with so far, and to enjoy this last and final pregnancy. There is no self-help book I can read or group I can join. Only prayer and spending time in God's word provides me with the strength and peace that I need. It's easy to drift away from it, to spend the time reading a good book instead or to say I don't have the time. To a Christian, spending time with the Lord should be like breathing. We need it to stay alive! As I remind myself of that today, make sure you're "alive" with the Lord today. It's the only way to live this life!