Saturday, January 19, 2013

Pouring Out

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm living a lifetime in one day.  We have added only one child, but it feels like I've doubled my load.  We have added private school for Will that is in another town and requires being on the road almost 3 hours per day.  When he comes home, he has about 2 hours of homework in the evenings. That's a lot for this homeschooling mama.  The girls' Irish Dancing schedule has changed, so that they are no longer in the same class... more driving for moi!  Car trouble with the new-to-us van... grrrr!  Thoughts about what to do with that dossier sitting in China... adopt now or extend our USCIS approval.  Deep, heart-felt discussions with hubby.  All this to and fro... all this emotional energy... I've been pouring out and not a lot is going back in.  It's been a hard couple of weeks.

I've also never been a fan of this time of year.  Even as a kid, I disliked January - March.  I don't know if it is the post-holiday blues or what, but I'm weary.

We've been taking lots of walks in the meadow preserve by our house, knowing that the fresh air will do us all good.

Taking our dolls with us, of course!
Please excuse the thumb, no time to edit!
I've been doing B90X with Connie. (Shhh, don't tell her, but I'm a little behind... still in Deuteronomy!)  I've thought about going back to work part time.  I've thought about starting an adoption ministry at our church.  I've thought about a lot of things, but none of it is the answer.

Two things I know for sure. #1... I have not spent enough time with my husband.  We miss each other even when we're in the same room; that's because there are 6 little people in the room with us!  : )We love them to pieces, they are our purpose, but we are NEVER alone. We are hoping to take some one-nighters by the shore.  I'm hoping that our dear friend will stay with the kids for us. We also need more date nights.  We've been hesitant to leave Isabel with a babysitter since she is so attached to me and has only been home a few weeks. But I think a few hours would be ok.  And #2... I have not spent enough time with the Lord. Yes, I am (not so) diligently reading the Bible in 90 days, but studying His words is so different than "being" with Him.  Quite time is sorely overdue.  I don't need much and I don't need it often, but when I do, I DO!  I haven't quite figured that one out yet.

So, this week has been better then last week.  This week has been full of giving and receiving grace, good conversations and supportive emails from dear friends and God speaking to my heart to just "be" in this moment; to not make it go away.  I do feel that once I get through this valley, I will be stronger, my relationships will be stronger and my resolve to do all that God has called me to will be stronger.

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Galatians 6:9


  1. Hugs it can be so hard but you are doing an awesome job!

  2. Praying for peace and stillness and calmness for you. I have felt the same way lately, barely able to keep my head above the water. NO time for me, I can't even manage to get the necessities done! But I know that God will speak to you in His time. Make sure to rest, that's when God can do miraculous things within your body and mind to help restore yourself!!

  3. Big hugs my friend! I have 3 kiddos and cannot get anything done especially since going back to work. You are still one of the best mommas I know:)

  4. Thanks for sharing... your blog approach inspire me alot..send gifts to Pakistan